the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
