I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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