i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
home. puking in laundry basket.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
