i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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