You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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