you mean i was at the winter classic?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
