he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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