Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize