I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
