i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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