did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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