ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
