Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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