All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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