I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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