Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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