Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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