Are we in a gay sports bar?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
