i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize