I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
