checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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