Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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