hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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