fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
