Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
