Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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