You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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