I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
