My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drake has all the answers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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