There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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