if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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