Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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