it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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