I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
