Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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