just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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