How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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