she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
