so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
