Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
