Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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