He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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