She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
