The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize