your room smells of hookers.
And success
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
