You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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