How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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