I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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