hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize