I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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