So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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