It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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