no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize