now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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