Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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