Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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