I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
