I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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