Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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