it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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